I’m pretty sure this is a joke.
There’s a part of me that thinks The Outpost might be some kind of elaborate joke, but I can’t find any evidence to support that theory. Well, not beyond the show’s generally hysterical level of quality, anyway. “Strange Bedfellows”, the fourth episode (apologies for missing last week’s), seemed like it was intentionally trying to be as clichéd and embarrassing as possible. I hope it was trying to do that, anyway, otherwise this is pretty awkward.
We began atop the wall, with Garret and Talon enjoying a flirty sparring session which, predictably, resulted in Garret’s clothes being sliced off and Talon conveniently astride him. She even threw in some typical jibes about being a woman in a man’s world and all that. Bit difficult to take her seriously as a beacon of feminist empowerment when she’s quite clearly head over heels for the only handsome bloke in a five-mile radius, but the heart wants what the heart wants, I suppose.
Gwynn catches them, and judging by her reaction it’s obvious that she’s either a) stupid, b) in denial or c) stupid and in denial. I haven’t quite decided which yet. While I deliberated she took Talon out drinking and gambling, which proved a rollicking success, obviously, but when they woke up, hungover, there was a corpse outside the window. Seems to be a trend in the Outpost, that.
The corpse is, of course, the doing of that comically fake-looking demon Talon summoned back in the second episode. Needless to say she does the heroine thing and takes full responsibility for it, even though that dopey blacksmith more or less engineered the situation by giving her a magic scroll, not explaining what it did, and then giving it the, “Oh my god, you summoned a demon!” routine when she read from the magic scroll he gave her. Dude’s a prick.
He proves as much in “Strange Bedfellows”, too, offering genius suggestions like, “You’re not ready,” and “you’ve only just started your training!” Forgive me, but I don’t remember her starting any demon-related training. Turns out she does need it, though, as when she collars the beast it promptly ***** her up and leaves her bleeding out on the floor.
Cliffhangers – gotta love ‘em. I wonder if the protagonist of the series will die in the fourth episode? The tension is killing me.
“Strange Bedfellows” continued the usual trend of prompting me to wonder about things that I’m sure I shouldn’t be concerned with, such as why, despite there being an entire subplot about Talon’s poor hygiene last week, she still has perfect teeth and eyebrows. She should volunteer some of the latter to Withers, who doesn’t seem to have any. Then again he has no problems getting laid; he woke up with The Mistress (Robyn Malcolm) in “Strange Bedfellows”, and was rather easily manipulated into furthering her schemes to monopolise the colipsum trade. I have no idea what colipsum is.
None of this makes sense, really. Garret is still nicking plagueling corpses and delivering them to Janzo for “experimentation”, but the experiments aren’t revealing anything beyond the obvious. Janzo, for that matter, is still doing a funny and I’m sure in some way offensive impression of a not-quite-right troubled genius, and I really do struggle to believe that we’re supposed to take this **** remotely seriously. I will continue not to. In the meantime feel free to tell me why I’m wrong about this god-awful show that y’all apparently like so much.
Jonathon is the Co-Founder of Ready Steady Cut and has been Senior Editor and Chief Critic of the outlet since 2017.