As laughably terrible as ever but entertaining in a car crash kind of way, “The Vex Rezicon” was certainly another episode of The Outpost.
I felt quite secure in my belief that nobody likes The Outpost, but it turns out that people really do! Yeah, I was shocked, too. Here I was idly criticising Janzo (Anand Desai-Barochia) for being a terrible, lazy, faintly-offensive stereotype and, really, just a flat-out abhorrent character, and I was politely informed that doing so is not only wrong but also ableist, sexist and racist, too. My mistake. I can’t say I necessarily agree, but then again I’m the one who watches and writes about The Outpost each week, so who’s the idiot here?
I will give Janzo credit for one thing: He’s very good at taking the piss out of Talon (Jessica Green) and Garrett’s (Jake Stormoen) laughably predictable romance. In “The Vex Rezicon” they’re still on the trail of the elusive Book of Names, but they make time to be accosted by a tentacled sea monster (the budget can only spare one tentacle at a time). Garrett hasn’t turned into a plagueling yet, but he does almost drown – luckily Talon has mastered the art of violently hammering someone’s chest and giving them the odd smooch, which I suppose is what qualifies for CPR in The Outpost.
All that effort and the three are promptly kidnapped by greyskins anyway. Luckily Talon has suddenly mastered that whole summoning and controlling demons business, which is handy. Through sheer luck they stumble on the titular book anyway (“The Vex Rezicon” is just a fancy name for it, I think), but it’s not what they expected. It’ll be dealt with later, I presume, because their more pressing concern is that if the Prime Order is willing to go out of their way to burn the book, it stands to reason that they won’t stop short of burning down the Outpost, either.
Meanwhile, Dred (Philip Brodie) is turning the town upside down in search of Gwynn (Imogen Waterhouse), who’s cowering in a gutter, and his men are slashing the hands of the womenfolk to see what colour their blood is. He even takes time out to assault the Mistress (Robyn Malcolm) and destroy all the liquor in the pub – that bastard! I was on-board for a while, mate, but you’ve crossed the line there.
Luckily Wythers (Andrew Howard) and Danno (Charan Prabhakar) arrive in the nick of time to get Gwynn into the relative safety of the mines. Wythers’ noble face-turn might seem a bit out of character for him, but at least he actually has a character, which is more than I can say for most in The Outpost. Unfortunately his rebel uprising goes disastrously wrong thanks to Gwynn’s sneaky handmaiden turning snitch, which is a shame, really. Just when it looked like The Outpost was actually building to something remotely interesting, it predictably disappointed us all once again. Well, not all of us. I’m sure the show’s die-hard fans will have been thrilled by “The Vex Rezicon”, and I can’t wait for them to tell me all about it.