The Sopranos: The Definitive 86-Episode Ranking

March 3, 2019 (Last updated: August 29, 2021)
M.N. Miller 5
Features, TV
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Part 2


#80: Season 6, Episode 4, “The Fleshy Part of the Thigh” [April 2nd, 2006]

The owner of Barone Sanitation passes away, putting Tony and Paulie in a predicament, as the son tries to negotiate a sale without knowing his father was more of the frontman. Paulie also learns his mother is not his mother but his Aunt because his birth mother is his Aunt, a nun dying of cancer.
Best Line: “Whoa, I just found Jimmy Hoffa.”-The surgeon says to his staff while finishing up Tony’s surgery.
Notable Appearance: Television/Film/Voice actor Chris Diamantopoulus pops us as Jason Barone, heir to the Barone sanitation empire, or so he thought.

#79: Season 2, Episode 7, “D-Girl” [February 27th, 2000]

The first two seasons of The Sopranos kept going back to an over-used device of their characters dreaming of working inside Hollywood. Fortunately, the sharp writing and biting humor, along with established guest stars playing themselves (John Favreau, Janine Garofalo, and Sandra Bernhard), are easy to overlook. Tony blames the internet for AJ’s stumble into existentialism (“F*****g internet”).
Best Line: “It’s all a big nothing. What makes you so special?” -Livia to her Grandson AJ.
Notable Appearance: Elizabeth Reaser as Stace, but hell if I can find her in the episode; if you do, leave me a note in the comment section below.

#78: Season 4, Episode 1, “For All Debts Public and Private” [September 15th, 2002]

As The Sopranos tends to do, they change Christopher’s mother with another actress (Marianne Leone, who frankly looked a better age for the role), which they have done several times. This is a pet peeve of mine, but as usual, the writing and acting are so good you forget about it seconds later. This episode has one of my favorite scenes, as Tony gathers his crew and tells them, “S**t rolls downhill, money runs up.”
Best Line: “A Don doesn’t wear shorts.”- Carmine to Tony about his cookout at the house.
A Hit’s a Hit: Christopher plays with Detective Lieutenant Barry Hayden a bit, while high as a kite on heroin, but eventually takes out the man who killed his father on his first night of retirement after receiving his gold watch.
Notable Appearance: Will Arnett pops up as Mike Waldrup, a fellow agent, and father to Agent Deborah Cicerone.

#77: Season 4, Episode 3, “Christopher” [September 29th, 2002]

The guys and girls start to run around like grade school kids, spreading rumors, while Paulie starts trouble by calling Johnny Sack from prison while Carmella forms her own crew amongst the wives. Columbus Day distracts the crew from making money, Ralphie leaves Rosalie for Janice (that doesn’t go as planned), and Tony owes a casino owner a call to Frankie Valli.
Best Line: “You finally read a book, and it’s bullshit.”- Tony to AJ.
Factoid: The episode was directed by Tim Van Patten, whose half-sister, Joyce Van Patten, played Janice’s therapist.

#76: Season 4, Episode 4, “The Weight” [October 6th, 2002]

Money rolls uphill, feelings don’t, as Johnny Sack calls for a sit-down with Tony and Carmine to get rid of Ralphie, who insulted his wife, even though he brings in millions from the Esplanade deal. Carmine lets Tony know that Johnny needs to go so it won’t hurt their bottom line. Carmella begins her flirtatious descent with Furio.

Best Line: “We bend more rules than the Catholic church.”- Johnny Sack during a sit-down and being told he can’t clip Ralphie.
Best Line #2: “Turns out this guy was probably another parent, or more likely a repairman.” – Dr. Elliot Kupferberg to Dr. Melfi after, unknowingly, irritating a man in a parking garage that was Tony Soprano.
Factoid: Actress Denise Borino, who played Ginny Sack on the show, passed away from cancer in 2010.

#75: Season 4, Episode 5, “Pie-O-My” [October 13th, 2002]

Ralphie buys a horse named “Pie-O-My,” and Tony starts to take his cut. Ade meets her new handler and is creating paranoia at every turn. Janice begins to manipulate Bobby by making him eat the last meal his wife froze for him. Carmella wants Tony to sign a trust to ensure her future, but Tony won’t sign it because it cannot be reversed if they get a divorce.
Best Line: “If only his mother took that advice.”- Hesh to the trainer, when Ralphie tells them the jockey shouldn’t be shy with the whip.
Best Line #2: I’m f****n’ fodder for cartoonists now?”-Junior after seeing his court-drawn picture on the local news.

#74: Season 4, Episode 7, “Watching Too Much Television” [October 27th, 2002]

Tony continues to use Brian for his financial mind, gathering information for different avenues of money streams, this time, taking advantage of HUD, and with the help of some local politicians (played by Peter Riegert and Vondie Curtis-Hall). Paulie gets out of prison, and Furio starts to develop his own feelings for Carmella.
Best Line: “So that’s a crack ‘ho.”- AJ to his father after checking out the old neighborhood.
Notable Appearance: Malcolm Barrett, of Timeless fame, plays a drug deal occupying one of the homes Tony acquired for HUD.

#73: Season 4, Episode 8, “Mergers and Acquisitions” [November 3rd, 2002]

Carmella takes responsibility for her future in her own hands by finding her husband’s secret stash and investing the money in something safe. Meanwhile, Tony begins an affair with Ralphie’s goomar, after Dr. Melfi helps him understand Ralphie has paraphilia. Paulie, who, as usual, is great at making friends, forcing his mother’s pals to include her in the group at Green Grove by strong-arming their adult children.
Best Line: “You’ll have to excuse these girls. Sometimes they think it’s a high school with wheelchairs.”- Nursing home supervisor explaining to Paulie why his mother has been excluded from the group.
Best Line #2: “I stole his horse.”- Tony to Valentin.

#72: Season 4, Episode 11, “Calling All Cars” [November 24th, 2002]

Tony sleeps with his Uncle Junior’s health care worker and cousin of his former goomar, Svetlana. He begins to work out some dreams he is having with Dr. Melfi while dealing with rejection. New York gets wind of the HUD scam from Paulie, and the crew is worried they will want their cut since it was derived from Zonin’.
Best Line: “You are no longer interested in changing and finding a way out?”- Dr. Melfi to Tony.

Factoid: Joe Maruzzo begins his 7-episode stint as Joey Peeps, who appeared in the 2001 film Max Payne, which was referenced in the episode when Bobby’s son played the same name game on his computer.

#71: Season 2, Episode 1, “A Guy Walks into a Psychiatrist’s Office” [January 16th, 2000]

P***y returns from hiding, Tony’s long-lost sister, Janice, returns from Seattle, while Christopher takes a shot at management. This episode marks the beginning of Lillo Brancato Jr.’s (A Bronx Tale, Renaissance Man, Crimson Tide) character, Matt Bevilaqua, in the series, who in real life was later convicted of an attempted burglary that resulted in the death of an off-duty police officer.
Best Line: ‘Analyze this?”- Tony to a new shrink, maybe referring to Billy Crystal going on interviews crediting Analyze This for being influential in The Sopranos being made.
Notable Appearance: A very young and healthy-looking Kevin Sussman (The Big Bang Theory) is beaten by Matt and Sean for not focusing on selling Webistics.
A Hit’s a Hit: Philly is gunned down by Gigi for spreading rumors about the family.

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4 thoughts on “The Sopranos: The Definitive 86-Episode Ranking

  • Pingback: The Sopranos Greatest Hits: The Complete Whack-A-Mole Ranking | RSC

  • March 6, 2019 at 5:17 am

    Elizabeth Reaser is the woman who comes down the steps to tell Amy that David’s ready to see her, right before Christopher calls her a f****n’ D-Girl.

    • March 6, 2019 at 6:48 am

      Yes! Thank you, was driving me crazy! Also, thanks for checking out the article!

      • March 7, 2019 at 4:45 am

        Hey great article. Appreciate all your efforts. But….needs more proofreading!

        Lauren Braco? Come on dude

  • March 7, 2019 at 10:34 am

    Thank you for pointing that out. I have made efforts to fix those errors. Thanks again.

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