Hatton Garden Recap: Is This The Most Idiotic Gang In History?

May 22, 2019
Jonathon Wilson 1
TV, TV Recaps
3.5

Summary

Hatton Garden Episode 3 manages to ratchet up the tension well as the gang makes off with the score. But now they have to get away with it.

3.5

Summary

Hatton Garden Episode 3 manages to ratchet up the tension well as the gang makes off with the score. But now they have to get away with it.

This Hatton Garden Episode 3 recap contains spoilers. You can check out our thoughts on the previous episode by clicking these words.


Blimey, these boys are idiots. And as though that hasn’t been increasingly obvious throughout ITV’s miniseries, it was certainly cemented in Hatton Garden Episode 3, during which I genuinely lost count of all the absolutely moronic things that occurred.

Having made off with the score, the plan is to hide the uncounted millions in jewelry, bullion and foreign currency in wheely bins, before eventually tipping it all over the floor when one of their wives are out and tossing a coin to decide who gets what. It’s absurd. And the fact it’s true is even sillier.

But, you have to be a bit silly to attempt a job like this when you’re a senior citizen, which is why the initial response from the press and police upon discovery of the robbery was to blame gangsters in the peak of physical fitness. Perhaps the best moment of Hatton Garden Episode 3 was the police poring over CCTV footage — of course the robbers missed a camera! — and realizing that “they’re old!”

And they’re certainly old — at one point during the counting of the cash, Terry has to stop for a biscuit because his blood sugar is low. And maybe this is just me, but I was indescribably annoyed at the complete inability of all involved to cease contact after it was explicitly agreed that contact should be ceased. Brian, who discovered the job had been completed in Hatton Garden Episode 3 and didn’t have anything nice to say about it, was right to abandon this thing halfway through.

Tell you what though — it isn’t half watchable. It’s fascinating. It’s a glimpse into pure and unbridled idiocy motivated purely by plain, simple greed. I already know that none of the culprits got away with it. But I’m starting to think a show that highlights how unlikely they were to get away with it in the first place is exactly the one they deserve.