“Dog” is another outdoorsy episode, but a better one, with the best one-liner of the season and an amusing stand-off conceit that lasts the twenty minutes.
This recap of Hitmen season 1, episode 4, “Dog“, contains spoilers. You can check out our thoughts on the previous episode by clicking these words.
Elton gets car sick, badly, so when the pooch starts spewing, Jamie and Fran have to pull over in the nearby woodland where a remote “Just Married” caravan for the bride and groom is nestled in the trees. The DJ is able to make half an escape by blowing some coke in Jamie’s face, and he eventually finds himself stuck up a tree with Fran sat on the roof of the caravan nearby. Elton is roaming and Jamie’s high as a kite.
This weird stand-off forms the bulk of Hitmen season 1, episode 4, and it yields the funniest line of the season, which we’ll get to in a moment. Jamie gets even higher while fashioning a dog-proof suit out of cardboard, preparing to enact a rescue, while Fran and the DJ debate her sham visa marriage. Here comes that zinger, courtesy of Fran: “Forgive me if I don’t take advice from a shoeless man in a tree. This isn’t an Austrian folk tale.” Ha!
All is well, in the end, though admittedly not for Elton. The DJ eventually tries to throttle Fran with some bunting, just as the bride and groom arrive, evidently expecting a more romantic wedding night than the one they actually get. Jamie fights the DJ with a litter-picking claw, and he tumbles from the caravan’s roof, landing on Elton. The dog doesn’t make it, so Fran shoots him. I think he deserved it.
Jonathon is the Co-Founder of Ready Steady Cut and has been Senior Editor and Chief Critic of the outlet since 2017.