“Rivals” pairs Fran and Jamie up with their nemeses Liz and Charles to take out a rogue assassin in the Scottish Highlands.
This recap of Hitmen season 1, episode 5, “Rivals“, contains spoilers. You can check out our thoughts on the previous episode by clicking these words.
It’s Fran and Jamie who’re given the assignment initially, but when Jamie fills the van with a mix of diesel and petrol, it breaks down and they have to call in Liz and Charles for help. They agree to split the reward in exchange for a lift, and “Rivals” pairs them up in fun ways: Jamie with Charles, and Fran with the gravel-voiced Liz, who gets plenty of jokes at her expense (play Home Alone!).
This is all naturally complicated a bit by Fran being smitten with Liz. We also learn at the start of Hitmen episode 5 that Jamie has signed Fran up to a dating app, so her love life becomes an underlying theme of “Rivals” now that she has split from her thieving visa husband. She and Liz get on surprisingly well during the journey, so when everyone has to shack up in the same motel room for the night, it seems like an opportunity.
Gavin Spokes arrives as one of Mr. K’s fixers who has a bag full of mini Uzis and silencers but is late because he’s a full-time school teacher and had to prepare for an Ofsted inspection. He also brings a hefty amount of weed, and everyone gets super high. In the bathroom, Fran and Liz almost kiss. They agree to meet up for a drink, and Liz takes Fran’s phone to give her her “personal number”.
Naturally, this is a ruse, and when Fran wakes up in the morning she realizes that Liz has stolen her phone so that she and Charles can get to Annie Maddox on their own to claim the full reward. But when Fran and Jamie catch up, they find the pair of them staged in a madcap Wonderland tea party, leading to a chaotic escape involving a hand grenade that closes out Hitmen season 1, episode 5. Just as Fran and Jamie think Liz and Charles are alright, they make off in Weapon Guy’s car to claim the full reward.
Jonathon is the Co-Founder of Ready Steady Cut and has been Senior Editor and Chief Critic of the outlet since 2017.