Mandy episode 3 and 4 recap – “Russian” and “Fish”

August 18, 2020
Jonathon Wilson 0
BBC, TV Recaps


Shaun Ryder from Happy Mondays thwarts the Salisbury poisonings in “Russian”, and piranhas eat Sean Lock’s feet in “Fish”.

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Shaun Ryder from Happy Mondays thwarts the Salisbury poisonings in “Russian”, and piranhas eat Sean Lock’s feet in “Fish”.

This recap of Mandy episode 3 and Mandy episode 4, “Russian” and “Fish”, contains spoilers.

Check out our spoiler-free season review.

Mandy episode 3: “Russian”

Mandy, a bit strapped for cash, is doing Airbnb and welcomes generic Russian stereotype Sergei into her home. He’s here on his “holidays” and would like to visit Salisbury and GCHQ. After a funny montage of Mandy and Sergei taking touristy photos in front of important London landmarks, including Scotland Yard and the Ministry of Defence, we cut to Sergei reading a newspaper with a headline about the Salisbury poisonings.

Mandy thinks she’s in love with Sergei, and he wants to marry her. But they don’t know enough about each other, so cue some getting-to-know-you stuff, including Sergei’s admiration for strong leaders and Russia’s resurgence on the world stage. Mandy’s reticent but agrees after Sergei shows off his knowledge of her favorite things: TV program, Bargain Hunters — “It’s only what Raiders of the Lost Ark could have been”; cigarettes, Silk Cut; shade of nail varnish, Minty Pig. She asks him to say something romantic in his mother tongue, which he does: “My mission required me to marry an English stooge.” What a charmer!

Sergei also lays out — still in Russian — that he’ll hang around as long as it’s useful to Mother Russia and the eradication of Putin’s enemies, and then he’ll kill her too. Mandy borrows money from Lola to buy a wedding dress, suitably charmed by this, despite having a tattoo on her back claiming she’s married to Shaun Ryder from Happy Mondays. Cue flashback to their meeting and eventual break-up thanks to suspicious maracas. Thinking the tattoo might be a bit of an obstacle, Lola removes it with a blowtorch while Mandy bites down on a wooden spoon.

The wedding takes place, but Shaun Ryder intervenes. He has a matching tattoo, but since Mandy’s has been melted off, she gets away with it. But armed police are the next to arrive, here to take Sergei Molotov — so that’s his last name — into custody. Sergei takes Mandy hostage, but Shaun Ryder whips out two pistols and declares, “I’m Shaun Ryder, and as long as there’s breath in my body, evil will not prevail.” Sergei’s disgust at the idea of a civil partnership gives the police an opening, but Mandy gets in the way. A bloody shootout ensues and Shaun Ryder from Happy Mondays lays waste to the perpetrator of the Salisbury poisonings, which was not a sentence I ever thought I’d write.

Mandy episode 4: “Fish”

Mandy’s new gig is being a naked fish model in a sushi restaurant: “Dig in lads, don’t be shy.” But typically, she can’t keep quiet and ends up telling Sean Lock, who’s dining there for some reason, about a 12-foot tapeworm. She gets into a racially-charged argument with the manager — “It’s like The Bridge on the River Kwai all over again” — and steals his gong. Fired once again, she agrees to go out for a drink with Sean Lock.

Lola’s beauty business is struggling, so Mandy proposes getting those little fish that nibble customers’ feet. Off she pops to an aquarium in order to purchase some, but her vague description leads the gormless staffer to the piranha tank. She takes a couple of buckets of them back to Lola and invites an eager Sean Lock to be the first customer, on the house. Next news, his missing toe is squirting blood all over the place.

Mandy goes to visit Sean in the hospital with his big toe pickled in a jar and two tickets to the Sea Life Center to make it up to him. They end up back at his place, where he dispenses romantic fish facts and explains how his goldfish love him despite knowing all his secrets. Desperate for a wee, and presumably unable to wait for Sean to return from the bathroom, Mandy dumps a bottle of wine into his fish tank and, with the help of a magazine funnel, urinates into the empty bottle. Sean, confessing his hard year, his divorce, and his missing toe, pours two glasses of the “biscuity” wine, which they both seem to enjoy. But the dead fish are a dealbreaker.

When the aggrieved sushi restaurant manager turns up at the salon for his gong, Mandy proposes a fish pedicure on the house as compensation. Fin.

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