Surprising absolutely nobody, The Emoji Movie is an insulting travesty without a shred of wit, intelligence or worth; a shameless, unfunny slab of advertising that exists entirely to slobber all over the shiny corporate cock whose limp spurts of digitised ejaculate droop from the movie’s saccharine façade like the tears of all those parents who were dumb enough to buy tickets for their children to see it.
Having said that, it did surprise someone: Dan Hart, my very own colleague here, who insisted live on air that The Emoji Movie would secure a Tomatometer score of over 50%, and even bet ten pounds of Her Majesty’s finest sterling on the matter. I can’t get back the 90 minutes I spent watching this appalling aberration, but at least I’m up ten quid.
Continue reading Review – The Emoji Movie
The third one. Well, the fourth one, technically, but it has the number three on the end of the title, so whatever.
Oh, I can see how this is going to go.
Yeah, sorry. It’s just difficult for me to muster any real enthusiasm for such a blatant slab of brainless corporate product. Despite what I or anyone else might say about these movies, they’re guaranteed to make an astronomical amount of box office dollars, thus ensuring that the franchise continues in various forms way beyond the point of artistic tenability. (A point that, if we’re being honest, was located somewhere around the end of the first movie.)
Continue reading Review – Despicable Me 3
[As this is an analysis post, please be aware that this may contain spoilers. If you have not watched the film, and you do not want to know what happens in the story, then please do not continue reading.]
Warrior (2011) is more than just a mixed martial arts film. After my most recent watch of the feature, I sat there wondering how it still manages to give me goosebumps in the final fight between the two warring brothers. Why am I on the edge of my sofa, with my hands together, forgetting the room that I sit in, feeling tense about something I have seen plenty of times? You could argue that this is a typical reaction when watching a film regarding a professional sport, but Warrior feels different. It is not just the fights that matter, there is much more to it than that. The film is about human failure.
You are, in essence, watching three men, all with flaws, all at fault for something in the past, and despite the many meanings in the film, I am unreservedly convinced that none of them deserves each other.
Continue reading Analysis – Warrior