Summary
There’s little to be said about a movie that was clearly made by a group of friends who just wanted to nerd out. That’s all The Viking War is.
There comes a time when a film comes along that heavily tests your chair in film criticism, and that time came to me today, in the form of The Viking War. I haven’t got time for this if I’m honest. I could be sat with a glass of wine like all the other ‘Film Twitter’ lot watching the finale of Game of Thrones, but fate has it that this failed gem lands on my desk, forcing me to sit in the dark, with little to say, as my Apple MacBook screen burns the back of my eye socket.
Ignoring the premise entirely, I am convinced that The Viking War was scripted by a group of nerds, who often go to those re-enacted battles once a year, pretending they are part of some historical war. I am a nerd admittedly, I commentate on reviews for a living, but what I cannot muster is how people pay for this on Amazon Prime.
The make-up is atrocious, the choreography for the fighting scenes is maddeningly playground-like, and the acting is absurdly poor, to the point that a school play would be the film’s benchmark. There are many moments where a cast member changes accent or flow of speech and each fight is stop-start, with everyone talking absolute nonsense, with zero direction. The Viking War is almost so silly, I would genuinely believe that they did this on purpose for their own laughs to see how IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes react.
I’ll offensively delve into the premise in case you want to gauge your eyeballs out; Ingrid and her siblings are on the run from the Berzerkers who have begun invading villages. The Berzerkers play this weird fight game that if the non-Berzerker survives, all is good, but that never happens, apparently.
The Viking War cannot be serious, I refuse to believe it. It’s almost a crime.
