Category Archives: TV Recaps

Recap – The Apprentice S13E3: “Robots”

Episode Title: “Robots”

Episode No.: 3

Network: BBC

Air Date: October 18, 2017

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Recap – The Apprentice S13E2: “Hotel Redesign”

Okay, I say this every year but how the hell are these candidates in business? As soon as Jeff blurted out, “I don’t want to deal with the finance side,” I nearly choked on my biscuit. Imagine signing up for a reality show competition based on becoming an entrepreneur and then babble such foolishness. Of course, he was fired after that. His own fate was signed and sealed.

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Recap – Star Trek: Discovery S1E4 – “The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not for the Lamb’s Cry”

Blimey, these episode titles.

Anyway, we’re back. And this time I even managed to watch the episode and write the recap with a degree of urgency, so with any luck we’ll be ranked 6,347,425th in the Google search rankings and as many of you as possible will get to read exactly how I feel about “The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not for the Lamb’s Cry”, aka “Which of These Letters Should Be Capitalised in the Title?” aka “It Cannot Be Safe To Keep That Thing on the Ship.”

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Recap – The Apprentice S13E1: “Burgers”

It surprises me every year that I return to the couch for The Apprentice. There is something uniquely delightful watching blundering mistakes by so-called business professionals. This year I would like to share my delight and recap each week as it unfolds, with a variety of car crashes which I am sure we will savour. Warning: there will be major spoilers in this recap.

This week’s episode is titled “Burgers” and as a person residing in Manchester, I understand the weighty importance of serving up a good burger; I mean, we do seem to have a burger restaurant around every single bloody corner. The task this week traditionally started the season on a simple foot. The candidates had to sell burgers on a stall. Let’s be honest, this episode felt more embarrassing than usual.

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Recap – Star Trek: Discovery S1E3 “Context is for Kings”

Well, allow me to wipe the egg from my face. In last week’s recap of Star Trek: Discovery’s first two episodes, I bragged quite openly about how privileged I was to be able to watch the show on Netflix, without having to clamber over the CBS All-Access paywall with the rest of the peasants. Oh, how convenient, I thought. What a doddle this’ll be. And yet suddenly I find myself sat here, at 00:15am, on a school night no less, staring at a mostly-blank Word document after just having watching the third episode, “Context is for Kings.” Throughout the entirety of last week, Netflix assured me in their infinite wisdom that a new episode of this show would air on October 9th. I’m sure it will. But they forgot to fucking tell me that one would also air today, on October 2nd, which is technically yesterday, as it’s after midnight, and now my eyes feel like they’ve had sea salt thrown in them, and I have to be up bright and early to cook my daughter’s breakfast and take her to the thieves’ den where she learns through play for £200 a week.

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Recap – Star Trek: Discovery (Episode 1 & 2)

Don’t take this the wrong way, but I couldn’t give a single discount shit about Star Trek. I wasn’t born until the show had long-since wormed its space tendrils throughout popular culture, but I missed the zeitgeist; the excitement that, I’m told, Star Trek brought to television. I never had a relative who was into it who might have introduced me to old VHS collections or late-night cable reruns, and by the time I was old enough to seek it out for myself, I was both too young to appreciate it, and more concerned with other things, such as learning the basics of drinking until I was sick and disappointing women sexually.

I mention this as I think it’s important for you to know that I don’t have any cultural, nostalgic or sentimental attachment to any version of Star Trek that has ever existed. Haven’t watched any of it. In fact, beyond a handful of names and places – the USS Enterprise, Captain Kirk, Patrick Stewart, Spock, Vulcans and Klingons – I couldn’t even tell you with any confidence what it’s about. I don’t know who’s who and what’s what. It’s all beyond me.

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