In the alternate reality of El Conde, Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet faked in death in 2006 and is now hiding out in Patagonia. He’s also a 250-year-old blood-sucking vampire. After living such a long and brutal life, the old dictator is ready to die and even promises to give his wife, Lucia, and his adult children the inheritance they so desperately crave.
Unfortunately for Pinochet, things aren’t so simple. His loyal butler is a traitor, his wife is cheating on him (with the butler), and his children hire the nun/accountant Carmen to locate his hidden money and perform an exorcism on the old and weary vampire.
Pinochet has given up on dying by the time the third act starts. Instead, he’s fallen in love with the nun Carmen and even turned her into a vampire.
Who committed the first murders in Patagonia?
In love with Lucia, Fyodor bites and turns the old woman against her will. But not before confessing to being the one who killed all those people at the start of the movie while wearing the general’s uniform.
Fyodor wanted the five offspring to hear about the string of vampiric attacks and use them as a reason to finally kill Pinochet. He also discovered that Carmen put together a damning report on the Pinochet family, as she intends to rob them.
As for Pinochet’s five offspring, they’re debating whether they can fight and kill all these new vampires so they can finally get their inheritance.
El Conde (Credit – Netflix)
British narrator explained
Having seen enough, our narrator decides to intervene and finally reveal herself to Pinochet. And she’s none other than Britain’s Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher.
When she was a young farmhand in 18th-century France, Margaret was raped and turned into a vampire by a ghoul named Strigoi. Undead and pregnant from the assault, she chose to abandon her baby but kept a close eye on his exploits over the centuries.
The two even met during a political visit while they were still in power in their respective countries, but of course, Margaret kept her knowledge a secret. Now, she wants to take her beloved son and start a new life together.
At first, Pinochet rejects his long-lost mother in favor of his new love, Carmen. But the nun refuses his thoughtful gift (he did give her Marie Antoinette’s preserved severed head) and tries to kill him.
How does Carmen die?
Fyodor executes the young nun via guillotine. For that, he pays with his head, but Pinochet chops it off with a saw rather than allowing his (not so) loyal servant a painless death.
As for Lucia, Pinochet kills his wife of 60 years before she can make an attempt on his precious life.
The five offspring watch helplessly as Pinochet and Margaret burn all the bodies and walk away. No, they are sadly not getting any money. They might, however, be able to sell to action some of the furnishings they took from the old vampire’s home.
How does Pinochet regain his youth?
According to Margaret’s narration, eating another vampire’s heart is best for an aged undead to regain his youth. And that’s exactly what Pinochet and his mommy dearest do.
When we last see them, they are wealthy (the old dictator’s true riches were the valuable antiques hidden in his basement) and still living in Chile. But now Pinochet is a young boy again, and Margaret finally gets to raise her dear son.
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