Our favorite raunchy teddy bear has returned, but this time on the small screen with Peacock‘s original series Ted. The series follows Ted dealing with life after his stardom, living with his best friend John and his family. Below is our full recap of all seven episodes of Ted Season 1, though as you will have guessed, it contains major spoilers for every episode.
Ted Season 1 Recap
Episode 1: “Just Say Yes”
After Ted accidentally shoots the TV, Susan and Matty (John’s parents) force Ted to attend school with John. Of course, Ted doesn’t love the idea of going to school, so he does everything he can to be kicked out. When Ted attempts to buy drugs, he realizes the dealer is Blaire, John’s cousin. After Ted and John try the weed, things go south, and they get caught by the parents, leading to a big war. Matt kicks Blaire out, but after Ted gives him something that Sylvester Stallone once gave him, she’s allowed back in the house.
Episode 2: “My Two Dads”
Clive continues to bully Ted and John, so when Susan tells them that his father walked out on him as a kid, they use it to their advantage to fight back against the bully. However, their plan backfires, making Ted and John feel bad for Clive. Finally, after much back and forth, the duo make up with Clive and become friends.
Matty is having health issues, and his doctor recommends that he get a colonoscopy. Although he fights it off, his wife Susan and Blaire talk him into getting it. Matt fears he might say something he shouldn’t once he goes under. He pays Blaire to go with him and hide under the gurney to ensure no funny business goes down. Ultimately, Matt reveals the secret of why he doesn’t want to go under, shocking the whole family.
Episode 3: “Ejectile Dysfunction”
After seeing Jurrasic Park, John and Ted head to the video store to rent a movie. Off in the distance is the porn section, and John wants to take a dip into the world and watch one. Because they aren’t old enough, they get Blaire to rent the video for them. Blaire rents the duo an “Adult Movie” instead of a porno, and it makes them mad. When Susan and Matty announce date night, Ted and John get fake IDs to return to the video store to rent their own adult porn video.
Ted and John get one of the videos stuck inside the VCR and head to the school to get a new one to swap them out. When Susan and Matty return home from their date, Susan turns\ on the TV and the porn plays. She thinks it is Matty’s and starts questioning whether she is what her husband wants anymore. Ultimately, Blaire takes the fall for everyone telling Susan it was her tape.
Ted Season 1 | Image via Peacock
Episode 4: “Subways, Bicycles, And Automobiles”
It’s Halloween, and Ted and John are preparing for their annual activity of throwing eggs at kids in terrible costumes. Blaire gets a call from one of her friends, bailing on being her designated driver to the party tonight. So she asks Ted to drive her, but he refuses because he and John have plans. After convincing, Ted agrees to be Blaire’s DD.
At the party, Ted is supposed to stay away from the alcohol and drugs, but everyone wants to party with the teddy bear. When Ted gets Blaire to leave the party, she realizes that he is equally as drunk and messed up on drugs. The duo left the party and ended up getting into a car wreck. Finally, they get home, but John throws an egg at Ted and Blaire, who are riding a mo-pet. Ted apologizes to John for missing the night, and the two agree never to leave each other’s side again.
Episode 5: “Desperately Seeking Susan”
The power goes out, and when Matty heads downstairs to look at the breaker, a spider is on the box, so he goes back upstairs to inform everyone it won’t be able to be fixed until the morning. Susan has the idea to have a game night, and when she and Blaire head to find the games, she notices a spider on the box. Blaire flips the switch, and the lights come back on. Upstairs, she confronts him about the spider, and a war begins. Blaire says her Christmas gift to Matty and Susan is to pay for one therapy session.
After the therapy session goes miserably, Blaire asks who Matty would like to be the therapist, and he suggests Ted. In the conversation, Susan reveals that she wanted to be a teacher but gave it up for Matty when she got married. When Ted and John’s teacher is fired, they talk to the Principal about hiring his mom to be the substitute. Even after a successful day, Susan realizes that teaching isn’t her dream anymore. She tells Blaire she loves her life as a wife and helping those she loves.
Episode 6: “Loud Night”
The family is off to church, where Susan has her first solo, but Matty is too tired to go to church and wants to watch football. John brings downstairs a bunch of toys they will donate when Matty sees “Dennis the Dumptruck” and tells her she can’t give him away. He takes it out of the box and says he will play with it all the time.
After getting home from church, Susan gives Matty the silent treatment because he didn’t attend her performance. Upset she won’t talk to him, Matty stares into the night, closes his eyes, and looks as if he made a wish. The following morning, “Dennis the Dumptruck” comes to life after Matty wishes for it. The dump truck is equally as hostile, racist, and obnoxious as Matty is.
Blaire and Sarah head upstairs to escape Matty and the dump truck. When Susan heads to check in on Blaire, she sees her and Sarah making out on the bed. Sarah says the two are dating, but Susan, befuddled, doesn’t want to believe it. Blaire says they are “just friends” to shoo Susan away. Later that night, Blaire and Sarah come out to Matty, and he freaks out, ruining Christmas dinner. Finally, Blaire says she can’t live in the same house with Matty, but before she can go, Matt stops her and apologizes to her and Sarah and says they are welcome in the house.
Episode 7: “He’s Gotta Have It”
After finding out he might be the last virgin in school, John attempts to figure out who he can lose his virginity to. Ted attempts to talk Blaire into letting one of her friends help, but she says no. Ted is heading to buy drugs, and John runs into Bethany, who talks about how awful the sex education class is. When John tackles someone for trying to steal their drugs, Bethany sees it happen and invites John out on a date.
The two have a great night, and Bethany invites John to the prom. However, Ted messes things up while on the phone with her, and Bethany tells John to go with someone else. The night of, John refuses to go, but Matty tells him there is only one Junior Prom. At the dance, John confronts Bethany and apologizes for what he did.
While questioning his honesty, John grabs the mic and announces he is a virgin in front of everyone. Everyone mocks him, but Bethany comes after him, saying she is a virgin, too. In the middle of the two preparing to have sex, breaking news comes across the TV announcing that O.J. Simpson is on the run from the police. John heads home to talk to Ted about the night and how disappointing it was, but he mentions they will have an even better senior year together.
That was our recap of Ted Season 1. We want to know your thoughts on the series, so let us know in the comments!
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