Summary
Ghosted is so sterile and generic, you have to wonder if the movie was tailored solely for search engine optimization.
This review of the Apple TV+ film Ghosted does not contain spoilers.
There are few action comedies as uninspired as the Apple TV+ film Ghosted. Even more surprising considering the leads, the director behind the project, and the eye-opening guest stars who appear in this digital streaming dumpster fire. The result is something sterile, practically inhuman, and as generic as asking ChatGPT to write a script inspired by hundreds of films before it.
Ghosted review and plot summary
Ghosted follows Sadie (Ana de Armas), an art appraiser, and Cole (Chris Evans), a farmer from upstate New York. After leaving the city because the “mountains are calling,” she meets Cole by chance at a farmer’s market. After a lovely night together, she “ghosts” Cole, and he’s left heartbroken. Fortunately for Cole, he left his inhaler stamped with an AirTag in her purse (seriously). Cole stalks her to London, where in a case of mistaken identity (and sexism), some bad guys accuse him of being the “Taxman,” an infamous secret agent.
Who is the Taxman? Well, it turns out it’s Sadie, and she’s a secret agent for the CIA. She’s pursuing a weapon called the Aztec, a biological weapon in the hands of an illegal weapons dealer, Leveque (Adrien Brody). Unfortunately for this particular Dr. Evil wannabee, the Aztec is in a briefcase with impossible digital encryptions. Leveque is under the impression the Taxman has it, which puts Sadie and Cole on the run with the bad guys hot on their tails.
You have to wonder what went wrong here with Ghosted. You have a director in Dexter Fletcher whose films practically ooze style and substance that’s strangely absent here. Yes, the film has four writers, which would explain the broad and the watered-down result. However, when you see Rhett Reese (Zombieland), Paul Wernick (Deadpool), Chris McKenna (Community), and Erik Sommers (Spider-Man trilogy) credited with the script, it’s shocking how humorless and lazy the experience can be.
For instance, a sequence involves three huge guest stars attempting to capture the duo. They repeat the same joke excessively within minutes. Even the running gag of these two “need to get a room” seems to be the only humor in the script’s arsenal. This joke is usually reserved for people who haven’t yet crossed that threshold, not after. This goes on endlessly.
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You cannot even get relief from its action sequences or plot. They are mind-numbing and eye-rolling at best. You’ve never seen so many well-trained assassins miss so many people at point-blank range. This is a plot you’ve seen countless times before. This experience is so underwhelming and broad you have to wonder if the movie’s purpose was only for search engine optimization.
The movie would have worked better as a romantic comedy because the leads have genuine chemistry. Also, the script would have been funnier if Evan’s Cole play more inept in dangerous situations. This would have been more refreshing and made his character considerably more realistic and human.
On the flip side, Brody’s villain is so over-the-top it’s laughable for the wrong reasons. The bad guys have so much concern for killer bugs they lock them away because they are so deadly. Yet, they scoop them out and toss them on people while they remain in the room watching. Is there no concern that a killer hornet or a venomous ant will wander back over to poison them?
Is Ghosted good or bad?
Ghosted is a bad movie that’s a listless and sterile experience. The chemistry between the leads takes a back seat to unreasonably excessive villains and stale comedy styling.
Is Ghosted worth watching?
Ghosted is not worth watching, even on a streaming platform, and even if the leads are wonderful to look at. Besides the considerable star power, the wattage dissipates quickly.
What did you think of Ghosted? Comment below.
You can watch this film with a subscription to Apple TV+.
