Summary
It looks cheap, and AI could have written the script based on a synopsis for the first four installments.
In an era of the neverending list of cinematic universes and reboots, it’s no surprise Robert Rodriguez decided to revive his beloved kid-friendly franchise for a direct-to-Netflix release. Spy Kids: Armageddon is the fifth movie from the series, and it was co-written by Rodriguez and his son, Racer Max.
If you’re even remotely familiar with the original series, you probably know the premise: Two super-spy parents hide their top-secret jobs from their precocious children. One day, the parents are in trouble, and it’s up to the kids to train as spies and save the day.
Spy Kids: Armageddon centers on OSS agents Nora (Gina Rodriguez) and Terrence Torez (Zachary Levi) and their children Tony (Connor Esterson) and Patty (Everly Carganilla). While Tony likes to lie and bend the strict rules on technology Terrence imposes on the kids, Patty believes in honesty and integrity.
Both kids are avid video game players, specifically the games designed by Rey “The King” Kingston (Billy Magnussen). When the kids sneak out of their rooms one night to play The King’s latest release, they accidentally give him access to the Armageddon key – a powerful code that allows him to hack into any device on the planet.
And what does The King do with this power? He gamifies the entire planet. People now have to play and win The King’s video game before they can access their devices for the most mundane of tasks like paying for parking or checking their bank balance.
Now, the Torez kids must stop The King before his rather creative changes destroy the world and force the adults to learn how to play video games. Spy Kids: Armageddon is a rather tired rehash of all the other Spy Kids movies, which weren’t that great in the first place. However, this one is way worse.
As bad as the special effects are, the plot is rather repetitive, and some of the generational difference tropes don’t make as much sense in 2023 as they would have two decades ago. For example, millennials grew up playing video games, so the Torez parents being this clueless about how to play doesn’t add up.
The performances are terrible. The two kids are adorable, and they do add a bit of charm to this charmless feature, but most of the adult cast members look like they would have rather stayed home watching paint dry than appear in this film.
This is not a good movie. It looks cheap, and AI could have written the script based on a synopsis for the first four installments. If you liked the 2001 Spy Kids movie and want a dose of nostalgia, you’re better off watching that one.
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