Thanks to a series of incredibly bizarre events, earlier this evening I found myself in a screening of My Little Pony: The Movie, along with my partner and our daughter, a friend of ours and her son, and what seemed like every pre-teen child in the northern hemisphere. There are surely worse environments to watch a movie in, but none that spring to mind. Then again, though, who’s the idiot here? This film isn’t aimed at me. It’s for the kids; a sugary, shrieking slice of animated adventuring that’s intended to be a revelatory first movie-going experience for the nippers. I’m pleased to report that my daughter, elbow-deep in a seemingly bottomless pick-n’-mix bag, thought it was wonderful.
Unfortunately, she’s not writing the review. And I’m still a little pissed off that I had to pay for all those sweets, so if you’re one of those insufferable maniacs who have made it their mission over the last few days to personally attack any critic who didn’t enjoy 100 minutes of glittery equine frolicking as much as you wanted them to, maybe cut me some slack here. I’m trying. I went in there with an open mind, and I left with one, too. It was just suddenly full of complete bullshit.
Continue reading Review – My Little Pony: The Movie
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This is Episode 64 of the Ready, Steady, Cut! Podcast. On this episode, we discuss and preview the movies that will be getting a wide release in October 2017.
There a lot of wide releases in October, and it could be a big month with the anticipated Blade Runner 2049 making its way to our screens. With each film, we offer our thoughts on the pre-release information, trailers and make predictions to how they will be critically received.
00:00 – Intro and Episode Summary
04:35 – The Mountain Between Us
07:55 – Blade Runner 2049
10:40 – My Little Pony: The Movie
15:45 – Happy Death Day
19:53 – The Foreigner
25:21 – Marshall
31:21 – Geostorm
33:53 – The Snowman
38:04 – Only the Brave
42:24 – Boo 2! A Madea Halloween
44:43 – Same Kind of Different as Me
48:25 – Jigsaw
52:18 – Thank You For Your Service
55:32 – All I See Is You
1:01:51 – Final Comments
Continue reading Ready Steady Cut EP64 – October 2017 Movies Preview
Surprising absolutely nobody, The Emoji Movie is an insulting travesty without a shred of wit, intelligence or worth; a shameless, unfunny slab of advertising that exists entirely to slobber all over the shiny corporate cock whose limp spurts of digitised ejaculate droop from the movie’s saccharine façade like the tears of all those parents who were dumb enough to buy tickets for their children to see it.
Having said that, it did surprise someone: Dan Hart, my very own colleague here, who insisted live on air that The Emoji Movie would secure a Tomatometer score of over 50%, and even bet ten pounds of Her Majesty’s finest sterling on the matter. I can’t get back the 90 minutes I spent watching this appalling aberration, but at least I’m up ten quid.
Continue reading Review – The Emoji Movie