Advertisements

Going for Gold Review Cheerless

1

Summary

Going for Gold, a cheerless Australian cheerleading film now available on Netflix, is deserving only of disqualification.

As I write this, I’m sat beside a little shelf full of cheerleading trophies, including one that I used as an ashtray when I was drunk. (It was only for third place. I’m not a monster.) The reason for this is the same reason I’ve seen – in some cases multiple times – all of the Bring It On films. My partner loves cheerleading. She owns and coaches a team. She choreographs routines. She stays up all night to watch the annual Cheerleading Worlds, accessible in the UK through a grossly overpriced subscription service. She’s a proper fan. And even she thinks Going for Gold is absolute horseshit.

That should tell you all you need to know about Going for Gold, a shambolic cheerleading movie made and set in suburban Adelaide and inflicted upon the rest of the world today, thanks to the enormous cruelty of Netflix.

Directed by Clay Glen and starring Kelli Berglund as the travelling daughter of an American airman, the film is determinedly, almost impressively awful, which might merit some sort of praise were Going for Gold not concerned with a generation of young people for whom I suspect there is no hope.

As far as the plot is concerned, the heroine’s neighbour (Emily Morris) convinces her to join a gymnastics team which is promptly disqualified from a competition thanks to the machinations of local bullies (Daisy Anderson; Elysia Markou). This egregious act of sabotage is to be combatted by the formation of a cheerleading squad, because of course it is, and all the while I was wondering who this might appeal to. I concluded quite quickly that the world has no use for such a thing.

Written with an ear for down-with-the-kids dialogue that could only belong to a man in his forties, possibly one from another planet entirely, Going for Gold suggests that Australian youth culture is best represented by an ensemble of inane teenagers slathered in flour. A geisha comparison would be apt if the cast were capable of any grace or poise, but the wobbly choreography suggests neither.

Advertisements
We need your help. Ready Steady Cut is an independently owned and operated outlet, and would like to remain so. But online advertising revenue is so pathetic that the only way to do that is by publishing clickbait nonsense and farming hate clicks. We’d rather not do that. So, we need your help. Now we’re reaching more readers than ever before, and providing a platform to more volunteer writers than ever before, we want to find an approach that builds a closer connection between our writers and readers while keeping our content free and accessible for everyone. And we want to get rid of ads. If you’d like to help us do that, please consider donating to our Patreon page. Over a million people have visited the site in the last few months – if a tenth of that number donated as little as $1, our future would be secure. Thank you.

Jonathon Wilson

Your favorite writer's new favorite writer.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: