Dead to Me season 2, episode 9 recap and breakdown

By Daniel Hart
Published: May 8, 2020 (Last updated: 3 weeks ago)
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Netflix series Dead to Me season 2, episode 9 - It's Not You, It's Me


Dead to Me season 2, episode 9, “It’s Not You, It’s Me” has outdone itself — this is an episode that its fans will truly enjoy.

This recap of Netflix series Dead to Me season 2, episode 9, “It’s Not You, It’s Me” contains spoilers.

How does Dead to Me season 2, episode 9, “It’s Not You, It’s Me” begin?

Jen wakes up next to Ben and immediately experiences a flashback of killing Steve.

Yes, she’s evidently regretting it.

Meanwhile, Judy visits her mother Eleanor. She tells her mother she has lost some people recently and misses her. They exchange niceties and love. Her mother says she’s sober and she’s glad she doesn’t have to lie anymore.

Like mother, like daughter.

Does Jen regret the whole Ben thing?

Ben tries to dance with Jen and she stops him, saying it’s a mistake. He wants to hear why. Jen says she’s not the person he thinks she is and asks him to leave.

Charlie questions Jen about Ben.

What’s happening between Judy and Eleanor?

Judy asks her mother how she ended back in prison — she blames it on the system.

And then Judy apologizes but Eleanor says she was too young and shouldn’t have let her testify. Judy said she had to tell the truth.

They agree to see each other more and Eleanor speaks of a parole hearing coming up.

What’s happening with the stop sign?

The City Council rejects Jen’s stop sign application. She attends a median hearing and tells them she rejects their rejections. Andrew Peters, who she assaulted, is there. Jen raises how Andrew tried forcing himself on her. She also raises how a stop sign may have saved her husband’s life and her kids would have had a father. There’s applause in the room.

What happened at the police station?

Perez and Nick show Judy a photo of Charlie and his Mercedes and the police are eager to make an arrest. They want a story quickly.

Meanwhile, Charlie asks Jen for the truth regarding the car and who put it on the fire. Jen tells her son she’s scared and Steve is involved with very dangerous people. She tells Charlie she wants no more words about this.

Does Judy tell Jen about the police?

Yes making Dead to Me season 2, episode 9, “It’s Not You, It’s Me” quite possibly the best episode in the series. It’s hard not to pause as it unfolds.

Judy tells Jen that the police are on to Charlie after the photos of the Mercedes were leaked by Parker. Judy tells Jen she is going to take the blame for it; she explains that the night that Steve died, she was about to kill herself but then Jen rang her and saved her — it was for a reason.

Jen is mortified that Judy would do such a thing and reveals that Judy is not responsible for Steve’s death and that he was walking away, it was not self-defense. A shocked Judy asks why would she kill Steve intentionally.

And it all spills out; flashbacks show Steve telling Jen that Ted wanted to be run over by the car because it was his only way to escape the marriage — when Steve said those horrible, mean statements, Jen lost it. In the present day, Jen explains everything, including what Steve said, and sobs uncontrollably, claiming everyone hates her, including her kids and the only reason why Judy doesn’t is that she loves anyone who gives her a morsel of attention, even if it’s abusive, which is why she loved Steve.

“You’ll still be around for anybody”.

How does Judy react?

Judy is upset by Jen’s words and leaves the house and Jen frantically runs after her. She says sorry and asks Judy to punch her in the face. Judy then gets in the car and Jen gets in front of it and repeatedly tells Judy to run her over. Judy screams “stop” in a long wailing voice and then breaks down, repeatedly saying “just stop it” while hitting herself.

It was difficult to watch this scene. Judy has her problems but she is a character that just wants to help and be loved and seeing her resorting to hitting herself is heartbreaking. Jen gets in the car and holds her.

How does Dead to Me season 2, episode 9, “It’s Not You, It’s Me” end?

The emotionally exhausting penultimate episode ends with Jen putting Judy to bed and then writing a letter to everyone. Jen checks on Henry while he’s asleep and kisses him on the cheek while taking away the murder weapon he is holding and putting it in a safe.

Judy wakes up in the middle of the night with the three letters next to her and suddenly realizes what has happened.

Jen heads to Perez’s house and tells her she has a confession to make.

Dead to Me season 2, episode 9, “It’s Not You, It’s Me” has outdone itself — this is an episode that its fans will truly enjoy.

Other points

  • Henry tells Jen he’s no longer friends with Shandy and he knows about the bird. He wants to know why she lied to him. Jen apologizes. Henry also has the murder weapon in his room.

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