The 10 worst Star Wars characters who can’t get far, far away enough

June 19, 2020
Joseph -Heindl 0
Features

The 10 Worst Star Wars Characters

Few fictional settings are as vast and far-reaching as Star Wars. Ever since George Lucas created the sci-fi fantasy franchise in 1977, the galaxy within it has only grown in scope, introducing audiences to a plethora of wacky creatures, otherworldly concepts, epic battles, and colorful characters. They can’t all be winners, however.

When you’re dealing with such an expansive universe, some of its inhabitants are bound to get on your nerves. Their annoyance can come from anywhere. They may sport a stupid voice, a repellent personality, a poorly drawn character arc, a tendency to undermine their allies or a number of other factors.

With that said, let’s sift through the sludge and see which characters rise above the rest. Who are some of the most hateful residents of the Star Wars universe?

Before we begin, a few dishonorable mentions are worth bashing for being among the worst Star Wars characters, but not quite cutting it:

Padmé Amidala – idealistic senator devoid of corruption and interest

Rey – aimless scavenger who instantly masters the Force with little to no training or motivation

DJ – tweaker hacker who stutters and stumbles his way into the story

Director Krennic – Death Star officer prone to childish tantrums due to not being appreciated

Saw Gerrera – extremist guerilla fighter with a penchant for hammy outbursts and ditching fellow rebels

Jar Jar Binks – frog-like klutz who’s garnered fan hatred the world over

You read that right. Jar Jar Binks did not make the list. Let that sink in for a second, and it should give you some idea of what you’re in for. Without further ado, here we go.

10. C-3PO

This is bound to make me some enemies, but C-3PO has been a thorn in the heroes’ sides since the original trilogy. His demeanor and incessant yapping are enough to drive anyone to the Dark Side. He always has to let you know that you’re doing something wrong, and he’s deeply and vocally offended whenever you don’t take his advice to heart. Couple this with the fact that he’s absolutely useless in a fight, and you quickly realize that he’s only here for comic relief and the occasional plot contrivance.

9. Colonel Gascon

The Clone Wars came up with a plethora of memorable characters who became fan favorites, but Gascon is not one of them. This tiny twerp leads a squad of droids on a covert Republic mission. Unfortunately, they soon become stranded on a desolate planet, and you as the audience are forced to spend four episodes listening to their unfunny banter.

He goes on and on about how he’s the most experienced and capable member of the team; the droids accidentally damage his ego; he gets mad and laments being stuck in the middle of nowhere with them. Rinse and repeat.

Suffice it to say, the humor in this scenario wears thin real fast. At times, it feels like the creators are attempting to mix screwball comedy with the minimalist charm of WALL-E and quirky weirdness of Rango, but nothing about Gascon or his team works on either a comedic or dramatic level.

Hearing him loudly complain about his situation makes these four episodes feel twice as long. At the same time, his drawn-out tangents give the illusion of gravitas while contrasting wildly with his ridiculous design. Throw in a voice which sounds like a bad impression of George C. Scott as General Patton, and you’ve got a confused caricature who never finds a consistent tone, making him painful to watch in his awkwardness.

8. Viceroy Gunray

From the beginning, the head of the Trade Federation is established as a pawn of Darth Sidious, and that’s exactly what he feels like: a tool. The problem is that this tool talks. With their broken English and lousy lip-syncing, it’s hard not to see this entire species as a bunch of Japanese stereotypes straight out of a WWII propaganda flick. Listening to Gunray and his peers is an exercise in embarrassment, and he himself is the most vocal.

Everything out of his puppet-like mouth cements him as the most incompetent and cowardly guy in the room. There’s no deeper meaning behind any of it aside from simple greed. That wouldn’t be such an issue if it was played for laughs, but it almost never is. He openly calls for murder and subsequently plays the victim, always getting away and furthering your frustration.

Considering how ineffectual he is, especially compared to the other villains, you just want him to go away while the big boys play. Even on the rare occasion when he is the butt of a joke, it falls completely flat and stops the scene in its tracks.

At best, he’s a Saturday morning cartoon henchman who leeches off his more imposing superiors. At worst, he’s a snotty little kid who deliberately misbehaves and blames everyone else when he gets caught.

7. L3-37

Donald Glover’s grating rendition of Lando Calrissian almost made it on here, but it’s his co-pilot who ultimately earns more condemnation. Imagine if C-3PO was a droid rights activist who constantly whined about the mistreatment of his robotic brethren by the oppressive meat bags. That’s basically L3’s entire schtick, and it gets old fast.

It’s even more of a shame because she’s portrayed by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who’s proven herself a capably funny artist with shows like Killing Eve and Fleabag. Sadly, her charm does not carry over to this mechanical menace. Not only is she annoying on a surface level, but the implications of her character are out of place in Star Wars and go into an uncomfortable area which many would rather avoid.

Fans generally see this droid as yet another indication of Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy’s agenda compromising the product and dividing the audience. For contributing to the further politicization of an escapist sci-fi fantasy franchise, L3-37 deserves every ounce of ire she’s received. The only thing that saves her from being higher on the list is that she’s not around for long. During her first mission with the Han and the others, she gets blasted to bits. Thank the Force.

6. Governor Pryce

Bringing back Grand Admiral Thrawn in all his Machiavellian glory was perhaps the smartest move the Star Wars Rebels creators ever made. Tragically, they also saddled him with a snooty sidekick in Governor Pryce.

This woman constantly rides off Thrawn’s success at every turn, gleefully basking in her enemies’ suffering while doing none of the work to conquer them. On the rare occasion she does get her hands dirty, she fails spectacularly and actually causes the heroes to get a leg up on the Empire.

In spite of this, she seems to get more arrogant every time we see her, talking down to everyone around and flaunting her power like a shallow teenager. She has about as much depth as one of the stuck-up Imperial officers we frequently see in the background. Unlike them, however, Pryce sticks around. Yay.

5. Ziro the Hutt

Talk about starting off on a bad foot. The Clone Wars initially had some growing pains, and one of those was Jabba the Hutt’s flamboyant uncle with a Truman Capote voice. I don’t know what cocaine trip fueled this creation, but it should’ve never gotten past the drawing board.

Part of Ziro’s unlikability comes from the same place as Gunray, as they both sport the same pettiness, cowardice, and victim mentality. However, it’s all amplified twofold. He loudly whines like a baby whenever he doesn’t get his way, leading you to wonder how he ever got any power or how anyone can stand to be in the same room with him.

The fact that his voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard makes it so much worse. Not only do his faux-Southern accent, high-pitched tone, and Capote lisp take you completely out of the Star Wars universe, but he constantly draws out his words in self-indulgence, prolonging the suffering of both the characters and the audience.

4. All three of Harvey Korman’s characters from the Star Wars Holiday Special

Everyone, including the cast and creators, sees this infamous TV special as an abomination. This makes it all the more perplexing that comedy icon Harvey Korman willingly portrayed no less than three characters in various sketches: a multi-limbed maid cooking a messy dish, a glitch-addled robot in a tutorial video, and a creepy cantina patron who consumes liquid through a gaping hole on his head. There’s not much to say about these things since they’re meant to be skit characters; you can’t really complain that they don’t have any depth.

What you can say is that they’re unappealing in every way, shape, and form. Everything about them—premise, timing, presentation, punchline, etc.—lands with a thud. To make things more unbearable, they all go on for several minutes, bringing an already overlong special to a screeching halt.

These characters are so moronic in their inception and grating in their execution that you feel insulted watching them. It’s obvious that the creators had no respect for the audience when making this thing, and that is a cardinal sin for comedy.

3. Rose Tico

Whether you’re a supporter or detractor of Disney’s bombastic sequel trilogy, one thing that you were likely expecting from the second entry was more interaction between the three new leads. Instead, while Rey dealt with a crazy old man claiming to be Luke Skywalker and Poe argued with a later entry on this list, Finn was whisked off on a pointless sabotage mission by this random Resistance twerp. Rose is little more than a self-righteous mouthpiece for the film’s confused messages about capitalism, animal rights, child slavery, and the horrors of war.

There’s a difference between idealistic and preachy, and the fact that this whole subplot contributes absolutely nothing to the main narrative or Finn’s arc only cements how out-of-nowhere these themes feel. It’s as if some snobby classmate interrupts recess and delivers a bleeding-heart monologue about saving the squirrels.

Then, of course, you have her blindingly asinine moment where she stops Finn from sacrificing himself, potentially dooming the Resistance in the process, and awkwardly kisses him after a silly comment about “saving what we love.” That sends a clear message that this girl is a tool rather than a character: a cipher for the movie’s ham-handed subtext to make the story seem deeper than it really is. While the subsequent Rise of Skywalker flick had a long list of flaws, the filmmakers at least had the good sense to sideline Rose and pretend that she didn’t even exist.

2. Kazuda Xiono

Star Wars Resistance had an intriguing premise in chronicling the rise of the First Order from the eyes of a Resistance spy. Unfortunately, its central character is such a feckless clod and a moronic waste of space that it’s impossible to root for him or care about anything he’s doing. We’re told that he’s a pilot, but his utter lack of hand-eye coordination or knowledge about anything makes you wonder how he figured out where the “on” switch is. Despite his obvious incompetence, Kaz is constantly trusted with sensitive information and high-stakes missions, somehow coming out on top due to bad slapstick.

You might be thinking back to Jar Jar Binks, but at least he was innocent in his idiocy, wholesome in his values, and not the main protagonist. Kaz, on the other hand, is insipidly cocky without having a fraction of the skills to back it up. He often treats other characters’ daily tasks as menial distractions unworthy of his time. Whenever he’s put into a combat situation, though, he lets out a high-pitched shriek, flails his arms, and runs the other way.

Suffice it to say, on the rare occasions when the writers attempt to add some drama, it’s entirely unearned. This guy is only here to do silly pratfalls for the kids watching, so why would we ever take him seriously as a hero? If you’re over four years old, you’ll be embarrassed to watch this cretin. You can only pray for his painful demise.

1. Vice Admiral Holdo

Remember how I said L3-37 contributed to politics worming their way into Star Wars? Well, that goes triple for this condescending clown. After Leia is taken out of commission in an unintentionally funny fashion, this purple-haired snob emerges out of the blue as the next in command. Her first action is ordering the Resistance fleet to slowly flee from the First Order, allowing them to be picked off one-by-one and refusing to divulge any further plans to her troops.

Why does she do this? Well, Poe Dameron apparently is a hothead who doesn’t follow orders. So, when he dares to ask what those orders are or if they even have a plan, she tells him off and demands that he fall in line.

Blatantly withholding information in a life-or-death scenario because of personal dislike is a senselessly shortsighted move, and it makes Holdo thoroughly unlikeable as a result. That’s a feat in and of itself since she’s played by Laura Dern, who’s usually such an endearing presence. Here, however, she has such a holier-than-thou attitude and disrespect for her fellow rebels that you just want to toss her out of the nearest airlock. When desperately pressed to explain her secrecy, she spouts vacant platitudes about believing in hope, harkening back to Rose’s problem of trying to sound deeper than she really is.

Her actions would be deplorable enough on their own, but when you discover the problem at the root of this character, it makes the whole ordeal far more sinister. Despite Holdo’s obvious mistakes, she never gets her comeuppance. In fact, the script tries to assert that she was in the right all along, with Leia zapping Poe into submission and claiming that he should have simply trusted in his superior officer. What kind of moral is that? Why should we blindly obey the orders of our boss like a bunch of automatons? That seems like something the bad guys would want.

The only justification offered is that this is a strike against “toxic masculinity” and “the patriarchy.” In short, it’s another case of political agendas invading the creative process. Unlike L3-37, this woman is here for most of the runtime; writer/director Rian Johnson was that proud of her. The filmmakers were so preoccupied with getting their message across that they didn’t bother making a well-constructed movie.

In the same way, Holdo is so self-satisfied with sticking it to her detractors that she allows her fellow fighters to die and forgets who the real enemy is. That is what makes her so nefarious. She is a villain who’s treated like a hero by both the creatives and the characters. More to the point, it’s why she is the worst life form to ever plague the Star Wars universe.

Do you agree with this list? Who do you think are some of the worst Star Wars characters?


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