Movies

Ugh. So, what do you get when you cross Michael Bay, Blumhouse Productions, and a carefully-strategized, elaborate branding opportunity? Well, apparently another derivative, clichéd, boring,...

Maybe it’s just me, but lately, watching an Adam Sandler movie makes me want to scoop my eyes out with a rusty spoon and fling...

The Fast & Furious series is a joke. I mean, seriously – this is literally a joke. I just sat down to watch the eighth...

You watch it, and then you die. No, wait, sorry. That isn’t right. You watch it, then you get a phone call, and then you...

I actually enjoyed Focus quite a bit. It’s a charming caper comedy which is perfectly content to be nothing more than that. It asks very...

In a lot of ways, Resident Evil: Degeneration is the most well-realized video game adaptation in existence. The plot is jumbled, the voice acting is...

I’ll be the first to admit that I was very much among the naysayers when it was revealed that Peter Jackson’s adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s...

As a story, Gone Girl is utterly preposterous. It’s the kind of writhing narrative built almost entirely upon big plot swerves; one heavily reliant on...

It’s actually kind of amazing that a movie so full of individually awesome moments can be as insultingly, unforgivably terrible as Seventh Son. It’s kind...

A Cure for Wellness is an old-school, Lovecraftian gothic horror picture that comes directly from the addled mind of Gore Verbinski – and Christ, you...

Review Beauty and the Beast? Is there any point? If there was ever a movie that you already know whether or not you like, it’s...

It’s a Tarantino movie. Is that praise or criticism for The Hateful Eight? A warning or a recommendation? None of the above, really. It is...

There’s a sequence early in Taken 3 which I presume is supposed to be a tense on-foot chase; across streets, through alleyways, over fences, Liam...

Star Wars hasn’t been good since 1983. George Lucas spent six long years between 1999 and 2005 slowly tormenting his fans with the gaudy, overwrought...

When you have kids, the first thing you want them to do is cry. After that, all you want them to do is stop crying....

In the Hitman video games, the most prestigious ranking you can attain is that of “Silent Assassin”. Earning the moniker isn’t easy; to do so,...

Paul Feig – bespectacled, rumpled, perpetually tailored, like a harangued insurance salesman – doesn’t look like an especially funny guy. He must be, though, to...

When particularly violent criminals are prematurely transferred from Young Offender Institutions into adult prisons, their files are marked with stars identifying them as troublemakers. This...